It happens so that marriages fail and the causes of divorce can be diverse. Cheat!ng, mismatch of characters, beliefs, dissatisfaction, lack of love, jealousy, and many others form a long range of reasons why people fall apart. What are the main causes of divorce in Nigeria?
REASON #1: LACK OF PREPARATION
This reason for a divorce is not indigenous for Nigeria: it happens everywhere all around the globe. Young people think that they are prepared for everything when their bodies reach physical maturity but their minds are still infantile. This is why they often tend to get married by impulse, being totally unprepared.
The lack of emotional, psychological, and even intellectual preparation before getting married is one of the most common reasons why marriages fail. No understanding of the obligations, responsibility, care, and communication causes a complete mismatch.
REASON #2: LACK OF COURTSHIP
Quite often, young people don’t give themselves enough time to get to know each other better before getting married. They simply meet, feel the attraction, and decide that they are in love. Without the period of dating and courting, they have no chance of getting to know the characters, habits, and life views of each other.
The courting time allows young sweethearts to find out whether they are truly in love, whether their tempers match each other, and also what the HIV status of the partner is, whether he or she is fertile or sterile, and so on. All these things can be vital for a marriage.
REASON #3: LACK OF COMPATIBILITY
The physical draw is often treated as love, and it’s one of the biggest mistakes young spouses tend to make. They discover that their natures, intellects, emotions, and habits are incompatible only when they are already married, the time of the first passion is over, and the reality dawns on them. Incompatibility is one of the reasons couples divorce after decades of marriage.
REASON #4: LACK OF OPENNESS
We all want to look better than we are in the eyes of our sweethearts. Quite often, people delude their partners to force them into marriage or something like that. Men tell girls tales about their wealth, girls conceal the truth about their previous relationships, and so on. All this leads to the collapse of trust and the collapse of a marriage.
REASON #5: MISMATCH OF AGES
A man of 40 who marries a girl of 23 years is not very much uncommon. However, he should keep in mind that soon, he will be an aging man while she will be a woman in the bloom of her beauty and her prime. The same is about a man of, say, 30 who marries a woman of 40: she has only a couple of years to conceive a baby.
The biggest and most healthy difference in age should be at most five years, experts say, and it’s necessary to make sure that the partner doesn’t falsify their birth date.
REASON #6: INTELLECTUAL MISMATCH
It’s quite clear that understanding is one of the key factors for a strong and happy marriage. In this light, it’s also clear that a crude mismatch in the interests, intellectual development, and education has turned out to be one of the most common causes of divorce in Nigeria.
It’s not a fact that a university graduate will have an unhappy life with an illiterate village worker. Still, it’s always better when spouses are approximately on the same level of intellectual development.
REASON #7: INFERTILITY
Nigerians have a very special attitude towards children. A marriage that stays childless for more than two years is often treated with anxiety. Women who have no children in marriage are often blamed for being infertile even if the problem is in their men. It can be a very big problem.
It happens often that a partner hides the fact of their infertility from the other side, knowing about it before their marriage. Of course, when the truth comes up, the marriage collapses because of the trust issues.
REASON #8: BROKEN EXPECTATIONS
People rarely realize that their expectations are their own problem and nobody is obliged to fulfill them. However, some people even get married expecting something particular from their partners. Of course, when nothing like this happens, the marriage collapses.
REASON #9: INFIDELITY
Being married to somebody means being tied to this somebody and sharing everything with this person. The spousal infidelity is one of the most common causes of divorce in many countries around the world, not only in Nigeria. It’s very hard if possible to forgive and forget the pains caused by a Cheat!ng partner.
REASON #10: LACK OF COMMUNICATION
Talking to each other is vital in a marriage. Discussing complicated issues, finding mutual points of view on the ways of bringing up children, running the household, spending money, and so on makes a lot of sense for a couple. Small problems that are kept silent tend to grow into bigger and finally huge problems.
REASON #11: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
It’s sad to admit that there are still abusers in Nigeria who practice domestic violence on their spouses and children. Cruelty and disrespect, violence and total control, restrictions, humiliations, and beating – these are the sad reasons many marriages in Nigeria fail at any stage. This is one of the most serious problems with marriages, which demands special attention and a complex approach to be solved.